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Because your pits need prayer.
Sometimes, even the holiest among us break a sweat — and when they do, they reach for Lard Help Me, the divine deodorant crafted from sacred fats, pure powders, and unshakable faith.
This ain’t your lavender-crystal roller. This is tallow-powered, lard-laced freshness for people who do real things — chop wood, wrangle toddlers, survive parish potlucks, or face summer in Michigan with zero A/C.
What’s in the Pit Potion:
beef tallow – Fat of the land. Moisturizes, nourishes, miraculously doesn’t clog pores.
arrowroot powder – Absorbs moisture like a spiritual sponge.
baking soda- for extra stink-fighting power
shea butter – Softens your sacred underarms.
beeswax – Keeps it solid even when you’re spiritually melting.
Essential oils: Kills funk like it’s casting out demons, keeps it fresh, not floral-fake
How to Use:
Scoop a little. Rub into clean armpits. Whisper “Lard help me” if needed.
Reapply as needed, especially on hard days, hot days, or when visiting relatives.
Because your pits need prayer.
Sometimes, even the holiest among us break a sweat — and when they do, they reach for Lard Help Me, the divine deodorant crafted from sacred fats, pure powders, and unshakable faith.
This ain’t your lavender-crystal roller. This is tallow-powered, lard-laced freshness for people who do real things — chop wood, wrangle toddlers, survive parish potlucks, or face summer in Michigan with zero A/C.
What’s in the Pit Potion:
beef tallow – Fat of the land. Moisturizes, nourishes, miraculously doesn’t clog pores.
arrowroot powder – Absorbs moisture like a spiritual sponge.
baking soda- for extra stink-fighting power
shea butter – Softens your sacred underarms.
beeswax – Keeps it solid even when you’re spiritually melting.
Essential oils: Kills funk like it’s casting out demons, keeps it fresh, not floral-fake
How to Use:
Scoop a little. Rub into clean armpits. Whisper “Lard help me” if needed.
Reapply as needed, especially on hard days, hot days, or when visiting relatives.